Bonjour à tous et à toutes ,
j'ai mon examen oral d'anglais mercredi prochain, je voudrais être sûr que mon texte ne contient plus de faute ( du moins y arriver avec vous ) , pouvez vous m'aider s'il vous plait ?
Merci beaucoup pour vos réponses.
Le sujet : What is the most important to for you at school : being a good student or being popular ?
Voici mon texte :
For me a popular person in school, is someone who does a lot of things planned just to get on the right side of others (pour se faire bien voir )
A Good student is someone who ,despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
I prefer to be a good student than to be popular because popularity is not eternal, we pass away but what we have in us head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever. Today you can be liked and known by everyone and tomorrow everyone can forget you , so it's worth trying to be a better person every day for yourself and not for others. It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous .I try to be a good person because I know that it will be useful in my whole life. I don't care about what others think about me , it's my life , my choices , ... So I don't want to be popular , in my opinion it's useless . But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you use it to teach others something clever.
Correction /student
Re: Correction /student
[quote="koko25"
Le sujet : What is the most important to for you at school : being a good student or being popular ?
Voici mon texte :
For me a popular person in school, is someone who does a lot of things planned just to get on the right side of others (pour se faire bien voir )
A Good student is someone who ,despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
I prefer to be a good student than to be popular because popularity is not eternal, we pass away but what we have in us head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever. Today you can be liked and known by everyone and tomorrow everyone can forget you , so it's worth trying to be a better person every day for yourself and not for others. It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous .I try to be a good person because I know that it will be useful in my whole life. I don't care about what others think about me , it's my life , my choices , ... So I don't want to be popular , in my opinion it's useless . But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you use it to teach others something clever.[/quote]
parmi d'autres
Minuscule
our
ouhlala
imho raccourcit tes phrases, (coupe les en deux, en trois), ca ira mieux;
Le sujet : What is the most important to for you at school : being a good student or being popular ?
Voici mon texte :
For me a popular person in school, is someone who does a lot of things planned just to get on the right side of others (pour se faire bien voir )
A Good student is someone who ,despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
I prefer to be a good student than to be popular because popularity is not eternal, we pass away but what we have in us head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever. Today you can be liked and known by everyone and tomorrow everyone can forget you , so it's worth trying to be a better person every day for yourself and not for others. It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous .I try to be a good person because I know that it will be useful in my whole life. I don't care about what others think about me , it's my life , my choices , ... So I don't want to be popular , in my opinion it's useless . But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you use it to teach others something clever.[/quote]
parmi d'autres
Minuscule
our
ouhlala
imho raccourcit tes phrases, (coupe les en deux, en trois), ca ira mieux;
Celui qui entre dans le moule de la pensée unique ne doit pas s'étonner d'en sortir avec la pensée unique d'une moule.
Ou si vous préférez, plus on essaie de rentrer dans le moule plus on ressemble à une tarte.
Ou si vous préférez, plus on essaie de rentrer dans le moule plus on ressemble à une tarte.
Re: Correction /student
Oh merci beaucoup 
voici mon corrigé :
Le sujet : What is the most important to for you at school : being a good student or being popular ?
Voici mon texte :
A popular person in school, is someone who does a lot of things planned in order to get on the right side of others (pour se faire bien voir )
A good student is someone who ,despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
I prefer to be a good student than to be popular because popularity is not eternal, we pass away but what we have in our head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever. Today you can be liked and known by everyone and tomorrow everyone can forget you , so it's worth trying to be a better person every day for yourself and not for others. It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous .I try to be a good person because I know that it will be useful in my whole life. I don't care about what others think about me , it's my life , my choices , ... So I don't want to be popular , in my opinion it's useless . But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you use it to teach others something clever.
voici mon corrigé : Le sujet : What is the most important to for you at school : being a good student or being popular ?
Voici mon texte :
A popular person in school, is someone who does a lot of things planned in order to get on the right side of others (pour se faire bien voir )
A good student is someone who ,despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
I prefer to be a good student than to be popular because popularity is not eternal, we pass away but what we have in our head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever. Today you can be liked and known by everyone and tomorrow everyone can forget you , so it's worth trying to be a better person every day for yourself and not for others. It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous .I try to be a good person because I know that it will be useful in my whole life. I don't care about what others think about me , it's my life , my choices , ... So I don't want to be popular , in my opinion it's useless . But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you use it to teach others something clever.
Re: Correction /student
Enlève les virgules :
A good student is someone who...
Who despite difficulties
I prefer to be a good student rather than being
Tente la rédaction avec "one" plutôt que "you" - les anglais détestent les utilisations de "you" injustifiées
--> today one can be liked and known by everyone, and be forgotten by everyone the next day
--> be a better person for oneself, etc
A good student is someone who...
Who despite difficulties
I prefer to be a good student rather than being
Tente la rédaction avec "one" plutôt que "you" - les anglais détestent les utilisations de "you" injustifiées
--> today one can be liked and known by everyone, and be forgotten by everyone the next day
--> be a better person for oneself, etc
Re: Correction /student
Merci beaucoup que veux dire rather than ?
Et à la fin : But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you(one?) use it to teach others something clever .
Je peux mettre one à la place de you ?
Voici mon texte :
A popular person in school is someone who does a lot of things planned in order to get on the right side of others (pour se faire bien voir )
A good student is someone who despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
I prefer to be a good student rather than being popular because popularity is not eternal, we pass away but what we have in our head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever. Today one can be liked and known by everyone and tomorrow everyone can forget you , so it's worth trying to be a better person every day for oneself and not for others. It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous .I try to be a good person because I know that it will be useful in my whole life. I don't care about what others think about me , it's my life , my choices , ... So I don't want to be popular , in my opinion it's useless . But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you(one?) use it to teach others something clever.
que veux dire rather than ?Et à la fin : But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you(one?) use it to teach others something clever .
Je peux mettre one à la place de you ?
Voici mon texte :
A popular person in school is someone who does a lot of things planned in order to get on the right side of others (pour se faire bien voir )
A good student is someone who despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
I prefer to be a good student rather than being popular because popularity is not eternal, we pass away but what we have in our head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever. Today one can be liked and known by everyone and tomorrow everyone can forget you , so it's worth trying to be a better person every day for oneself and not for others. It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous .I try to be a good person because I know that it will be useful in my whole life. I don't care about what others think about me , it's my life , my choices , ... So I don't want to be popular , in my opinion it's useless . But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you(one?) use it to teach others something clever.
Re: Correction /student
Rather than : plutot que
One : tournure impersonnelle plus correcte
One : tournure impersonnelle plus correcte
Celui qui entre dans le moule de la pensée unique ne doit pas s'étonner d'en sortir avec la pensée unique d'une moule.
Ou si vous préférez, plus on essaie de rentrer dans le moule plus on ressemble à une tarte.
Ou si vous préférez, plus on essaie de rentrer dans le moule plus on ressemble à une tarte.
Re: Correction /student
"planned in order" ca fait un peu doublou.
eternal : mouais...does not last forever.
" but what we have in our head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever" quoi??? charabia.
"It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous " : j'ai du lire cette phrase lentement pour comprendre qqch. c'est relativement imbitable. **fais des phrases COURTES**.
"in my whole life" ne se dit pas...tu veux dire quoi? during my entire life?
Les points de suspension n'ont pas leur place dans un exercice....surtout en anglais...
Tout le texte est assez "bof"...ca n'est pas fluide. Pas trace de la moindre expression ou tournure vraiment anglaise.
Quel est ton niveau? Tu parles d'un oral et tu nous donnes un texte??? quel épreuve passes tu?
eternal : mouais...does not last forever.
" but what we have in our head and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever" quoi??? charabia.
"It doesn't mean that popularity is bad, but if we feel appreciated , cool and loved only when others say good things about us and admire us, it is pernicious and dangerous " : j'ai du lire cette phrase lentement pour comprendre qqch. c'est relativement imbitable. **fais des phrases COURTES**.
"in my whole life" ne se dit pas...tu veux dire quoi? during my entire life?
Les points de suspension n'ont pas leur place dans un exercice....surtout en anglais...
Tout le texte est assez "bof"...ca n'est pas fluide. Pas trace de la moindre expression ou tournure vraiment anglaise.
Quel est ton niveau? Tu parles d'un oral et tu nous donnes un texte??? quel épreuve passes tu?
Pas prof.
Prépa, école, M2, thèse (optique/images) ->ingé dans le privé.
Prépa, école, M2, thèse (optique/images) ->ingé dans le privé.
Re: Correction d'un texte en anglais
Attentie attentie !
For me est un affreux gallicisme (et tout le monde sait bien depuis Jules César que de toute la Gaule, ce sont les Belges les plus forts !
)
Un According to me serait pas mal non plus comme grosse faute.
donc :
In my opinion
PS édit - note bien que le sujet te pose la question "For you", pour toi - l'élève koko25,
le prof de l'énoncé ne te demande donc pas ton avis, pas de selon toi, pas de dans ton opinion...
mais il te demande l'exposé de ton cas personnel.
For me est un affreux gallicisme (et tout le monde sait bien depuis Jules César que de toute la Gaule, ce sont les Belges les plus forts !
)Un According to me serait pas mal non plus comme grosse faute.
donc :
In my opinion
PS édit - note bien que le sujet te pose la question "For you", pour toi - l'élève koko25,
le prof de l'énoncé ne te demande donc pas ton avis, pas de selon toi, pas de dans ton opinion...
mais il te demande l'exposé de ton cas personnel.
Re: Correction /student
Je suis en 4eme ( ma 2eme année d anglais en Belgique )
"planned in order" ca fait un peu doublou./ C est la seule expression que j ai trouvé pour planifié dans le but de .
Ensuite vos remarques me touche beaucoup , vous m avez fait comprendre que mon texte est tres mauvais , mais mon examen à lieu dans deux jours que faire?
"planned in order" ca fait un peu doublou./ C est la seule expression que j ai trouvé pour planifié dans le but de .
Ensuite vos remarques me touche beaucoup , vous m avez fait comprendre que mon texte est tres mauvais , mais mon examen à lieu dans deux jours que faire?
Re: Correction /student
Donc c'est plus ou moins ta LV 2 avec seulement 2 années de cours ?
à l'impossible, nul n'est tenu...
Ta famille peut pas t'aider ?
> A popular person in school
is the contrary / opposite of a big boloss , isn't it ?
Tu as oublié un peu de ponctuation pour faire des phrases plus lisibles.
> A good student is someone who ,despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
comment dire " fayot " ?
> popularity is not eternal
Dis le à Madonna , ça fait 30 ans qu'elle tient la route, hé hé...
> we pass away
peut-être :
we may pass away
(peut-être, car je suis pas anglophone, et je ne sais pas si tu as rencontré ce verbe en 2 ans d'anglais )
> in our head
mind
> and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever.
Alzheimer quand tu nous tiens !
> liked
liked / loved / appreciated ?
(tu peux écrire 2 fois appreciated , ton texte est un texte en anglais, pas en français)
> tomorrow everyone can forget
may
will
> in my whole life.
during
for
> But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you use it to teach others something clever.
Belle conclusion !
à l'impossible, nul n'est tenu...
Ta famille peut pas t'aider ?
> A popular person in school
is the contrary / opposite of a big boloss , isn't it ?
Tu as oublié un peu de ponctuation pour faire des phrases plus lisibles.
> A good student is someone who ,despite difficulties, tries to work well in class someone who does his homework , helps others and respects the teachers
comment dire " fayot " ?
> popularity is not eternal
Dis le à Madonna , ça fait 30 ans qu'elle tient la route, hé hé...
> we pass away
peut-être :
we may pass away
(peut-être, car je suis pas anglophone, et je ne sais pas si tu as rencontré ce verbe en 2 ans d'anglais
)> in our head
mind
> and what kind of people we are will stay with us forever.
Alzheimer quand tu nous tiens !
> liked
liked / loved / appreciated ?
(tu peux écrire 2 fois appreciated , ton texte est un texte en anglais, pas en français)
> tomorrow everyone can forget
may
will
> in my whole life.
during
for
> But there's nothing wrong with being popular if you use it to teach others something clever.
Belle conclusion !